Breaking the cycle of pain and shame

There’s one thing I feel compelled to share with you today. Yesterday I came across this short documentary (~13 min) and I just couldn’t believe how much it spoke to me. As I mentioned last week, I’ve been thinking a lot about addiction and other habituated survival strategies and trying to better understand where these “pathological branches” find their “roots.”

The model for understanding this that I find most helpful is that of a tree. The tree has roots, which represent the trauma or wounds of childhood (e.g., abuse, neglect, abandonment). These wounds lead to shame, which can lead to dysregulated survival strategies in adulthood (e.g., addiction, emotional dysregulation, attachment issues), the branches, if you will.

This video is such a powerful case study in how this cycle of pain and shame can be passed from one generation to the next. It’s heartbreaking to watch, but also offers hope that the cycle can be thwarted.

– Peter